Thursday, December 1, 2011

Available souls resist together?

One of our teachers saw my signature and asked what it is.

"It's my signature!" - I explained having eyes bigger then everyday circle lenses. What can be wrong even with such a formal thing as signature?

The teacher said I should change it since she's a bit into psychology and my signature is like I'm kinda crossing myself out. She said it takes energy away and might have something to do with my self-esteem. I thanked and smiled and started thinking... This teacher is aware of some depression issues I've been recently experiencing, and knows about the strangest of my fears - I had to tell her to explain my sometimes weird behavior in class...

Her kind advice about the signature made me feel so calm and comfortable that I even forgot I'm in the room of University's TV department.

This teacher herself is also not in a pleasant condition these weeks. Her husband's seriously ill, but nevertheless she keeps smiling and telling us different stuff at classes. It might be questioned whether we need all that or not, but I'm now talking of nice personal attitude from her.

As we were talking (the teacher was signing my degree work request) another lecturer came over. It was Mr. Shitbag, the teacher I hate and fear - this is the reason why I named him like that. Not because of lack of sports activity. :D

He frowned having seen me. No wonder - this year I left his group and joined another one after a whole year of trying to get used. That resulted in frequent nervous breakdowns and insomnia. I usually feel like shit when he's around, and even saying good afternoon to him is a huge stress since I fear he'll ask something or will comment on me.

But this time, having my new teacher around talking about how I can get rid of at least a part of my psychological issue, I felt as if nothing could harm me at least that minute.

She has difficulties herself and understands me trying to support. I understand what she's going through with her husband and try to show support at least in the manner of speaking and in my thoughts - since it would be weird to suggest it directly to the teacher, whatever muchI feel for her.

Maybe it is because people who aren't totally happy are by default settings aimed on supporting each other so much, that no bad people's energy can bother? :)
I tend to believe in this. ^__^


  1. Interesting to see your signature ;)

  2. It looks like the first three letters of my 2nd name crossed out in a random way ))