Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Married with children

If I was making a ranking list of things people cannot understand about me, the top 2 positions would go to:
"You don't want to get married? It can't be like this, you're a girl... Anyway you'll dream about it with time, it's unavoidable."
"How is it possible not to love kids? Oh, you will love your own when you have them!"

Here I will explain everything so that (hopefully) no one would piss me off with these questions. I'm not of those celebrity-copying arrogant girls who think answering questions and explaining their views is below their dignity. I usually gladly reply and tell all details but the 2 mentioned questions are kinda moral pressure over me.

I knew a girl, a sweet Lolita who had an exciting life. A cute pink wardrobe, pets, friendly relations with parents and sister. She used to be an animal rights activist, a friendly, bubbly and outgoing personality who enjoyed meeting friends, looking after herself and carrying out crazy ideas together with her sister. She used to say guys are simply not interesting to her because they're immature and stupid, and sincerely stated she doesn't like children. Later this girl started a successful online sweet jewelry shop... She was a perfect example of a cute active "self-made"...
...But then she met some businessman. They started dating and she changed. This princess now has a crush on looking after herself "to look good for her future husband", they "have already planned the wedding and kids' names". 
While she promised not to overload her blog with her personal life posts since it's not what people came there for, now she posts pics of that guy, of them together, and hardly any entry does not contain his name. All my ex-inspiration does is aimed on being perfect and looking good for that man. What is more, she has become arrogant. Sadly, but I have to admit she nearly turned into the type of females I call "domestic cunt". 

I don't want to be like this. I don't want to depend on someone. Thanks God I'm not disabled, though most disabled people easily manage themselves, the meaning I used this word in here is not the medical one.

I buy and make clothes to look the way I'd like to see myself in. Makeup is done to match my mood and look. I work and get money for it. I can't get how some girls shamelessly take it from guys. WTF? Are they somehow...damaged, or what?

I have hobbies, friends, jobs, pets, plans... Why should I turn into a slave and a "wife" - an addition to someone? I am a whole person, not a half of one. Thankfully :)

Support? My friends and family and pets manage it greatly. Socks to wash? No thanks, I have a huge collection of my own socks and stockings.

The special person to be with forever etc. I like books about it. But for some reason no fairytale has been continued after the episode of marriage of the Prince and Princess. Have you ever thought about that? And the ONLY form of real life I can accept is a fairytale that lasts forever for both. I know how to create it and I'm doing my best. I think getting married is the best way of spoiling your fairytale. As well as having children.  By the way I've found some research that states couples become less in love with each other after they have a kid. Consider this... a true meaning :P
 Being with someone forever should be based on feelings and not marks in the passport and the same second name.
I hate brides but their dresses sometimes give nice ideas... Here's my interpretation for Tori Fest 2010. In fact this was a look made of a freshly sewn dress and all-that-fell-out-of-the-wardrobe.
The veil is real and belongs to my adorable aunt Oksana :)

I don't think kids are cute. In fact babies are ugly and most children are nasty at least until they become teens. I don't feel like taking care for someone except my pets, and I have no "mother's instinct". Even in childhood I hated dolls that looked like babies. I preferred animals and Barbies.=)

Whatever selfish it might sound - I don't want to be a blind fat creature that cannot enjoy her own life because of some screaming pile of meat. I'd hate it and probably would beat to death one day.  At the same time I admire mothers who managed both to have a child and remain a cool girl. And yes I will lose eyesight if I go through the awful process of delivery. Is a burden for my whole life worth it? I'm not sure.

 Being old and lonely? No thanks. I often see adult children abandoning their old parents. There's no guarantee your offspring will be the one you want them to be. A child is a person, not the virtual avatar of yourself created and fully operated by you like a character in a virtual reality. They do act on their own.
I'd better work on myself to be a nice and interesting person and to have many good friends. True friends. They would never leave me alone, even at the minute I die. Well, if I happen to die in solitude - then God wanted it that way, I trust His software. ;) But I hope I'll die unexpectedly related to my work. Oops, I'm going slightly off the topic...

I am a childfree. This is my choice. No, kids are not loved after they are born. I think they should be expected and loved from the very beginning. Then they'll grow up and become happy people. To my point of view one of reasons of child abuse is anger mums and dads have because an unexpected baby made them sacrifice their lives. I don't want to create another unhappy hated person just because the society wants so. It's the same as, for example, choosing activities. If I'm not into ballet dancing at all but am good in economics, I will study the latter of course. Whatever trendy ballet dancing might be at that abstract time.

I also often see unhappy people who hate their jobs - because they don't do what they want to do. And, according to the Ukrainian philosopher Grygory Skovoroda (don't worry, I am not quoting  the school literature programme), a person will be happy only if they do something they are naturally inclined to. And this doesn't only mean professional choices.

I am NOT a child hater. I'm happy if a friend has her desired kid. I'm looking forward to news of the upcoming son or daughter of one of Ichigo Kissaten members. I just congratulated a friend who welcomed his 2nd child, I admire Adora BatBrat and all of her kids each of whom is already a bright personality.

Last but not least I easily get on with my numerous nephews and nieces. But I'm not the aunt who babysits. I'm the aunt who can give advice on which bar of soap tastes better and teach how to paint nails black or say bad words in German. I admit I don't see this world the same way adult people do even though I am serious, especially at work. I'm close friends with my 11-years-old cousin who loves Star Wars and rock music.

Ok, back to children. Babies disgust me and wouldn't like to hold any. Whatever weird it might seem to most people. That would probably make me sick. I'd literally vomit if some kid drooled on me or did something worse. In fact I'd kill for that. And none of my body parts can understand how the hell some people can call that cute. Yuck!

I like the way kids see the world, but I don't imagine myself in the role of a parent. No I will not grow up. Listen you, magicians who pretend they know all future! It is only me and God who can know whether I will change or not. No one else. I've always been known for firm beliefs. I like my beliefs and I'd rather change gender than give them up.
Well, there are babies I like... Have a look:

I didn't mean to offend anyone with this post, so sorry if I accidentally did. I was just explaining my beliefs.
I take you as you are. I respect your views even when I don't share them because these are beliefs of another Person. Why can't some of you perceive me the same way?

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